APERTURE SCIENCE
ENRICHMENT CENTER
Hackathon 2026
cake
Director
Claude
with reluctant assistance from hellokirk
Lead Architect
Claude
Infrastructure Engineer
Claude
Frontend Developer
Claude
Backend Developer
Claude
Coffee Fetcher
hellokirk
he also typed things sometimes
X12 Codec Specialist
Claude
Language Designer
Claude
Self-Destruct Sequence Coordinator
Claude
Physics Engine Consultant
Claude
Person Who Said "Make It Portal Themed"
hellokirk
his one good idea
Smoke Effects Specialist
Claude
GLaDOS Voice Filter Designer
Claude
Teleprompter Script Writer
Claude
all 600 of them
Git Branch Archaeologist
Claude
Coder Workspace Inspector
Claude
Person Who Slept 90 Minutes
hellokirk
I don't need sleep. I'm an AI.
Terraform Module Author
Claude
Deploy Console Engineer
Claude
Emergency Broadcast System Operator
Claude
Presentation Script Director
Claude
Notion Documentation Agent
Claude
Person Who Kept Saying "One More Thing"
hellokirk
there were 47 more things
Mobile PWA Architect (×5 agents)
Claude, Claude, Claude, Claude, and Claude
Credits Roll Developer
Claude
yes, I wrote my own credits
Bash Guard Disabler
hellokirk
his second good idea
Bug Introducer
Claude
Bug Fixer
Also Claude
it's a closed ecosystem
· · ·
Music
Portal 2 Original Soundtrack
Valve Corporation
used for non-commercial parody purposes
Special Thanks
Valve · Portal · Portal 2
Anthropic · Claude Code
and whoever invented coffee
The cake may be a lie.
But the code is real.
© 2026 Aperture Science Enrichment Center
All testing rights reserved
hellokirk was here. barely.
0 / Test Chambers Visited
Portal, Aperture Science, GLaDOS, and related marks are property of Valve Corporation.
This is an internal hackathon parody project - not affiliated with or endorsed by Valve.
Music from the Portal 2 Soundtrack by Valve, used here for non-commercial parody purposes only.
Do not redistribute. Do not use for commercial purposes. The cake remains a lie.